FIVE NIGHTS AT FREDDY'S 666 2edgy4U
These events that you are aboot to hear aboot are 100% legit. I mean, come on of all people I should FUCKING know. For future reference, please, you can call me Ulysses, Ulysses MutherFuker, but my friends call me , U. MutherFuker for short just kidding I have no friends. But my last name triggers me, because my dad fucked my momma when I was young and I hate men (with a few exceptions) even though I am one but I want to be a woman.
Oh right did I mention that I'm just your average 13 year old queer trans feminist getting rid of the patriarchy one cis male scum at a time.
Anyway the story all started one day when the newest Five nights at Freddy's game came out, i has been a fan ever since I played FnAf 1. I would shit myself, not because I was a fucking pussy but because of how turned on I got seeing foxy the pirate run into my room and do questionable things to me behind his curtain. Butt I didn't care so when all the next games came out I screamed at my parents and made them buy all o' them, of course my dad would say no being the cis male bItch he was, butt my momma would always say yes and buy tem for me. I played all the games, read all the FanFictions ,and jerked off to all the hentai I could, until my stupid Ass brother walked in to my room.
"Yo U. MutherFuker what are doing you hoe!!1!," he exclaimed at me as I wanked off.
Shut the FUCK up!:!1!," I screamed as I threw my rasorblade at him.
He then walked over and fisted my computer in two pieces and then I layed myself down and cried for 463.7333 nanoseconds, and started doing what I always do when I feel upset. I prayed to me one true lord and savior, Scott Cawthon. I told him to just send me to his paradise, and then suddenly I heard a voice behind me,
"As you wish my loyal follower..'"
Looking behind me I saw Scoot Cawthon he was involved in a black aura and looked like an emo but I thought it made him look hotter then ever. Part of me just wanted to kneel down for him and let him stick it in me... butt he didn't.
Maybe anoother day I thought...
As he jumped out my winder in his wonderful black aura I could hear the song: Wake Me Up Inside, I know because I am too familiar wit the song because the song is my boyfriend. But anyways then I looked where he was and saw he left a new computer for me. Plugging it in my wall and turning it on I saw that it had one game installed into it...
It was called Five Nights at Freddy's 666 2edgy4u
I pissed my FUCKING panties I was so excited to play the game and my fedora almost fell off my head but I didn't care. I booited up the game but suddenly knew that everything was all wrong. I looked and saw no animatronics, but instead I saw Markiplier MarkyMooMoo. This was when the pee in my pants turned into pure white cum, Markiplier was my idol, i wore a WARFSTACHE everyday to show my undying love for him. I selected the option to choose night one and waited.
I was not prepared for the Dankness I was aboot to experience
Suddenly lights flashed on the screen and I couldn't believe my eyes actually I could because I saw it. It was the room from the very first FNAF game.
"What the SHIT," I said allowed, but I decided to keep calm, knowing that my god would never trick me. I then heard the silk smooth voice of MarkyMoo
"Welcome to Freddy's you wonderful FUCKING faggot" I heard him say in his sexy ass voice. I was ready take out mah dick and jerk off but it was too tired and flimsy so I gave it a rest and let it sleep.... Markiplier told me to watch out for the many clones of himself walkin around the building butt in all honesty I wanted to see them and become one wit them but me also didn't want to disobey Mark. He was like internet jesus to me, only second by Scotter Cawthon. Mark then got off the phone and I got a truly good look around the room.
I was petrified I saw pictures drawn by children aboot Markiplier's beautiful face. There were also dildos stapled to the wall and as much as I tried to tear them off they wouldn't budge. Oh well, it must be for the Mark clones to use later, I thought as I got excited. I then got to listen to the music, which was 2spoopy4me, it was We Are Number One but every one was replaced by my dad screaming in pain.
I cries it was too bootiful.
But wait how would the game know what my dad sounded like while he was screaming? how would it know I like Markiplier? why of all people was I, a queer trans man hating feminist with neon green hair with a fedora, chosen to play this game?
Find out next time...
on Dragon Ball Z!!
(no wait nevermind, I have no time for these dumb ass bad cliffhangers)
Suddenly I remembered what I needed to do so I decided to look at the stage and saw 3 clones of Markiplier singing and twerking over a little boy. I was so jelly
I WANTED TO BE THAT TINY BOY!!!!
But this is when I found out the real truth: that this game was multiplayer. As I glanced around I saw several individuals: 3 boys from my school and that one little puny baby boy. My mind filled with hatred at these dick wielding cunts. They all looked like a bunch of diehard weebs, so I didnt care too much aboot them until I saw that a familiar curtain was opening. "Oh my god! Was this my little sex slave, Foxy?!?!," I thought to myself.
Nope, but it was almost as great! I looked and saw Sonic teh Hedgehog. He was so beautiful I just wanted to go over there and suck him up like a biscuit. But I didn't get the chance because he was too busy devouring the tiny little baby boy on stage, which I was fine with cause I don't really like vore that much anyway. I blinked and looked at the monitor again to see the 3 boys running to mah room but I locked them out because I wanted the Marks all to myself, and they all deserved to die ;)
I heard their screams outside as MarkiMoo started chanting:
MEOW!
MEOW, BITCH!!
Hearing this I started to get hard, but then I looked down at the bottom of my screen, and noticed it said 5:00 am. So I quickly decided to let the many clones of Markiplier in. They started dancing for me, and the wonderful sound of the song: We Are Number One got louder and louder. But then I suddenly blacked out. "Damnit! Right when it was at the best part!" I thought to myself. But, I wasn't too upset, as this game had changed my life in many ways, I was now not only what many would call a piece of shit feminist SJW, but I was now an official furry. I am so proud that i started crying tears of joy out of my ass. No, this was not me crying... this was me peeing, it has happened... my dreams have come true...
I AM REALLY WOMAN NOW!
I went down on my knees to pray to my lord, my god, but when I was aboot to thank him I heard his familiar voice say to me:
"Go my fam, go out into the world and cleanse it of all those who do not believe in the gospel of Freddy."
Then suddenly, my savior pulled a glock 43 out of his ass, and handed it to me, shit-covered and all. But then I felt a strange feeling enveloping my soul. Dark Sith robes started to form around me. Almost instantly I was surrounded by the blackness. I looked up at Scott Cawthon...
"As you wish my lord," I whispered sensualy to him, as I pulled my new Sith hood over mah face.
The next day, i started to get ready for school dawning my black beautiful and moist Sith hood I walked downstairs and saw my dad, the terrible women-hating oppressor himself standing at the kitchen table. I took out the glock 43 and my dad stood up. Damn it was so satisfying to see a man cower in fear. I then walked up to him, pointed the gun at his dick, and shot it 420 times. Luckily, the glock had infinite ammo, so it was the perfect school shooting tool.
After I got to school I decided that I would walk to the principle's office, as he would be the first victim. The man hated me, saying that I couldn't pull this queer furry FNAF bullshit at his school, the thought of him makes my newly created vagina piss in anger. I walked through teh hallway, ignoring all those trolls who were about to feel the wrath of Freddy, went up to the principle's office, and without saying anything, shot him through the heart, and he was to blame. He gave love a bad name.
The school security squad started to surround me as the teachers fled in fear. I knew that despite the power of the infinite ammo glock, I would need reinforcements. I decided to grab one of the security guards, and rip his head off, as apparently by the power of Scott Cawthon I can do that now, and sacrificed it to Freddy. Suddenly, just like the Kool Aids Man, Golden Freddy broke through the wall. I could not stare straight at him or I would go blind, in fact I did, now I can't see, but that doesn't matter, as I could hear the screams of all of the school, the security guards, teachers, students all these worthless cucks be sucked up into the black hole that was Golden Freddy's ass. I was saved though, and walked back over to the school's entrance. It was time to spread the Gospel of Freddy's.
In other words...
10/10 BEST GAME, WOULD GLOCK AGAIN.